About Me

Grief is a cocoon from which we emerge a butterfly. - Glennon Doyle 

As of this writing, I'm going to be 65 in a few months.  And after what I've lived through and came back from, I'm the best I've ever been, though I could use a face lift and a new liver. I still have  deep sadness and longing for Steve, but nothing like the soul-crushing sadness I had had for a long time.  It's so totally fucked up that my transformation into a warrior queen goddess had to come at the tragic expense of my sweet husband dying.  I'm going to have some choice words with whomever is in charge about the order of some things. But, transformation is usually the outcropping of suffering. We get rubbed raw until we have no choice but TO change. 

During my grieving, I would say, text, or write that grief is a motherfucker!!. I even imagined embroidering a pillow with those comforting words.  You can't hear me but I'm sputtering from the coughing fit I just had envisioning myself (cough) embroidering (hack) anything!! I'm not that industrious, crafty-enabled, or have the patience to do something that requires patience.  During the Covid lock down, I decided to take most everything I've been through, and turn it into a website. Tah dah!

So I wish I could tell you that I have a degree and am a licensed whatever with a thriving practice and that you can makes appointments to meet with me blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.  But that would be utter horseshit. 

I am a regular person just like you, but probably more gassy. I haven't invented anything or run marathons or can say I'm a home chef. I don't even have a pet that I can take drippingly cute schmoogly selfies with. How sad is that?? 

Yeah, pretty sad. 

In fact, see that photo up there over to the left? None of those smiling people are me. I'm curled in a ball under the table. 

I'm from San Jose, California.  Been twice divorced and widowed once.  And I think I'm done with the marriage thing, but who knows. Nah, I'm done. 

My hobbies are few; I enjoy breathing air, researching useless tidbits of trivia  on the Interweb, and sometimes I like to dig up plants in my garden and replace them with new ones that will only mock me and die soon. I also enjoy walking up steep hills.  

One of the coolest and braggiest things about me is that I've been in various rock bands since 1999. I play piano, by ear, and drums, adequately. But I have a big, loud, belty singing voice and can melt plastic tablecloths in close proximity to the stage. 

The most awesome-est (not a real word) thing about me, something that I can say without reserve and with a strong sense of pride, is that I have done a ground-up restoration and rebuild of myself in the three years since I lost my amazing husband which is still on-going. I did it with the help of my sister, friends, therapists, support groups, books, websites, and through my own determination to finally listen to that inner voice that told me that great things lie ahead for me if I was just willing to try.  Fuck yeah!