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Photography by Warrior Princess Goddess Karen. Graphics by Celeste, who I found on Nextdoor!!

Grief is a Motherfucker

A perverted (and profane) blog for widows/widowers or anyone else grieving a death...and who could maybe use a good laugh right about now.

Know what? Death is perverted

per.vert.ed- adjective = (of a thing) having been corrupted or distorted from its original course, meaning, or state.

And that's why grief is a motherfucker

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Warning: This is a very raw and real account of my grieving process, and the path back from it. It may not be appropriate for someone whose loss is very recent. Or maybe it is totally appropriate. It's up to you to decide for yourself. Just saying....

This loving and hopefully comforting website is laced with humor, irreverence, sarcasm, and bad words, because losing someone and what follows is so entirely fucked up. If you are in need of some serious loving comfort and support but without the humor and bad words, may I recommend: What's Your Grief, Refuge in Grief, and Grief and Sympathy

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Welcome, Dear Heart...

I’m so sorry that you’ve found me. I really, really am! I’m sorry because that means someone you love has died. And I’m so sorry for that. I’m so sorry for the horrible journey you now find yourself on; one that you didn’t ask for and one you would probably do anything not to be on. But, sadly, here you are. I welcome and honor you for your pain and struggle. You’re home and are loved.

You've probably found me because you were doing a web search on grief, right? Boy, do I know the feeling because that's all I did after my husband's suicide.

I was in SO much pain and confusion about my life and who I had become following my husband's death that I had to keep researching: grief, PTSD, complicated grief, depression, grief and depression, grief and anxiety, grief and loss of stability, grief and the loss of security, grief and insecurity, my husband killed himself now what, what’s happens to the one left behind follow a suicide, and so on. Sound familiar? I was looking for anything to give me a toehold onto behavior, thoughts, and feelings I didn’t recognize.

Equally, I did all those searches for something or someone to tell me that I was grieving correctly. There's no road map for this shit.

I was where you are now. I have walked in your shoes and many others have too, and will continue to do so. More members are being added to this really crappy club on a daily basis. And that’s fucked up. BIG time. Having said that, knowing that I wasn’t the only person who had lost a partner, I was able to take some comfort from knowing that there were so many others like me, and I hope you will too. If not now, then you will later.

Please know you’re so not alone. And that horrible, sinking feeling you’ve been living with won’t last forever. I know this to be true. As of this writing, my husband's three year death-iversary has just happened. And if losing him wasn't bad enough, he died by suicide, and I found him. Not only did I find my own happiness again, but eventually even got my groove back. Those who’ve seen me dance would frantically like to differ.

-Karen

Grief is a Motherfucker

Know what? Death is perverted

And that's why grief is a motherfucker

Welcome, Dear Heart...

Dedication

I hate Social Media so I'm begrudgingly on Facebook